Davecat se oženio lutkom ali i ljubavnica mu je lutka; Erika La Tour Eiffel, možete zaključiti po prezimenu, udala se za Eiffelov toranj; osnivačica pokreta, Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, također je jasno iz prezimena, udala se još 1970. za Berlinski zid itd. Graham Harman govori o filozofiji usmjerenoj prema objektu, no ovi su ljudi otišli korak dalje.

www.objectum-sexuality.org/

This international website about objectùm-sexuality, (widely known as Objektophilie in Germany), is designed to offer a support network for objectùm-sexuals (Objektophile) and education for friends and family about objectùm-sexuality (Objektophil), and insight into our way of accepting, living, and adapting as individuals who are in love with objects.

The internet offers amazing resources to make connections with others; old classmates, lost family members, and like-minded individuals.

Twelve years ago, Eija-Riitta Eklöf from North Sweden took a chance and braved hoards of criticism from faceless critics on the internet in an effort to find others like her: people who love objects... objectùm-sexuals... aka OS people, also known as objectophiles.

Since then, Oliver Arndt from Germany and Erika Eiffel from America have built the largest network of objectum-sexual people from different countries.

This website is not meant to change the minds of people… We are not looking for a following, rather a reckoning of other objectum-sexuals so we may provide support, realization, and hope to one another. Thank you for opening your mind and looking over the Fence.

or function.
Are all OS people female?
No. Early numbers suggested most objectum-sexual people were women. Perhaps that women are more prone to visual emotion. However; more recent numbers reveal a growing number of men are stepping forward and relating to being objectum-sexual.

The Red Fence - Röda Staketet

The decision to use the Red Swedish Fence or Röda Staketet as our emblem of Objectùm-Sexuality:

The Pioneer

Eija-Riitta Eklöf has been living out her life in North Sweden, the village of Liden where she was born and raised. At 54 years old, she has braved every censor of her orientation. However, in the early days, Eija-Riitta did not face retribution for her connection and relationship with objects. Her family and village did not pass judgment. Why should they? She was a well adjusted and talented model-builder who was not offending anyone and most importantly, she was happy.

Eija-Riitta had hundreds of pen-pals all over the world and was very open about her sexuality with little to no reprisal. She wanted to educate people and to include a typed flyer explaining her sexuality. So, in the early 1970’s, Eija-Riitta with two close friends, Lars and Frank, decided on a term for the orientation to love objects, a name she could tell people that summed up her sexuality. They chose "Objectùm-Sexuality" and it is this Latin terminology that we still use today and often the acronym OS.

June 17, 1979, Eija-Riitta Eklöf followed her heart and married the object of her true desire, the Berlin Wall, unofficially adding Berliner-Mauer to her surname.

In 1996, Eija-Riitta started the first website dedicated to OS in 4 languages. More or less a personal account of her own life and sexuality but also an informative site directed at the nature of OS. It was from these early hand-coded pages that objectùm-sexuality became known in the trenches of the internet.

In 1999, Eija-Riitta launched the first internet group with an extended invitation to anyone interested in discussing objectùm-sexual issues. People poured in but it was unclear if they were actually OS or simply curious and discussions never developed. While this first attempt failed to bring about an open dialog, Eija-Riitta decided to close and reopen another in 2002 with focus directed at providing a more private environment for discussion. Membership required approval and from this selective process came the first active and sincere members of the Objectùm-Sexuality Community.

The Breakthrough

From the founding OS members, Oliver Arndt, a talented artist from Essen started the largest network in Germany for Objektophilie in 2002. These objektophiles have been actively educating the public and courageously addressing the media for many years.

Another founding member was Erika Eiffel, a world class archer and martial artist. She travelled extensively to meet with Oliver and having a kinship love for the Berlin Wall also met with her close friend, Eija-Riitta, in 2006. Later Erika set out to meet all the OS membership in an effort to gather data and learn more about the enigma of objectùm-sexuality. Together, Oliver and Erika successfully adapted their German OS group for English speaking objectum-sexuals in 2004.

In September 2006, Erika came out about her long-time affection for the Berlin Wall and also iron Bridge structures, including the matriarch of Bridges, the Eiffel Tower, which she unofficially married April 8, 2007. Erika later founded Objectùm-Sexuality Internationale and started a new international forum in February 2008 inviting the assistance of Oliver and Eija-Riitta to help to share the hope started so long ago... to know we are not alone.

The Symbolism...

The Red Fence is cherished by Eija-Riitta as an object she holds dear to her heart. As a tribute to her courage and devotion, Röda Staketet is to the objectùm-sexual community... our symbol.

The Meaning...

Fences exist throughout society. We put them up to protect ourselves but not to shut people out. One can look over a Fence and see what’s on the other side. If the grass is indeed greener or not… this we decide for ourselves.

Married to the Eiffel Tower

If you thought that men in love with real dolls was strange, wait until you see Married to the Eiffel Tower, which follows these fetishists (all of them, for some reason, female).
Interestingly, Objectum Sexuals – they call themselves OS people – believe their love with the objects are reciprocal and that they can telepathically communicate with them.
Naisho is married to the Eiffel Tower. She has a passion for inanimate objects, and her mission is to fight the stigma surrounding the disorder and create a global network of sufferers – like Amy, in love with a church organ, and Eija Riita, who married the Berlin Wall.
In this compelling documentary about objectum sexual disorder the characters describe just what it’s like to be in love with a highly public structure. - topdocumentaryfilms.com/

People Who Love Objects Part I

by Amy Marsh

Quasimodo had the bells of Notre Dame. Pygmalion had his statue. Erika has the Eiffel Tower, and, being unabashedly polyamorous, loves the Golden Gate Bridge and the Berlin Wall, too. That said, you may now park your “OMG!” at the entrance (an empty cultural reﬂex that will take us nowhere fast) and enter instead into that state of humbling wonder so necessary for passionate inquiry into all matters of human intimacy.
And so I found a very small group of people who are in love with objects, sometimes even engaged in unspecified erotic activity with those objects. They call themselves "objectophiles" or "objectum sexuals (OS)."
There is a little boy of my acquaintance who loves the Sutro Tower. He is autistic. Last Valentine‘s Day, he sent my own children a drawing of Sutro Tower as a person, surrounded by hearts. “How sweet,” I thought, remembering how my own kids made friends with houses and furniture when they were little.
The next day, a sexologist chum alerted me to a YouTube video, something about a woman who married the Eiffel Tower. Watching it, I had an overwhelming sense of a fated and fateful "ah ha!" And thus I went into curiosity and research overdrive.
Fortunately, there was a website. And so I found a very small group of people who are in love with objects, sometimes even engaged in unspecified erotic activity with those objects. They call themselves "objectophiles" or "objectum sexuals (OS)." You might wonder, is this like, you know, using a vibrator? (And who among us has not?) Or is it more like people with shoe fetishes? Neither, according to the OS International website. The Objectum Sexuals say this is actually a sexual or emotionally intimate orientation, an orientation they donʻt feel can or should be changed.
And I tend to agree that Objectum Sexuality is something above and beyond paraphilia or fetishism, for a few reasons. First, this sexual minority, like any other, has the right to define itself based on its own experiences and understanding. Secondly, the OS Internationale website mentions that quite a few of its members have Asperger‘s Syndrome (a condition on the Autism spectrum). Aspergerʻs Syndrome is a special interest topic of mine. Iʻve done a sexuality survey of people with Asperger‘s Syndrome and some of their partners. I have a pretty good sense, what with research and client work, of the intense intellectual investment that ‘Aspies’ have in their “special interests” and collections of objects. Itʻs something that frustrates a lot of their partners, who find themselves competing with their partnerʻs obsessions with computers or 18th-century railway schedules or collections of fisheye buttons. I find it easy to see the erotic potential of such fixations. For me, this connection between OS and Aspergerʻs was like hitting sexological paydirt.
I wrote to OS Internationale and offered to do a small, freebie survey for them, so they could have real information to show to health professionals and the media. With the gracious consent of Erika Eiffel and the participation of twenty-one of the English-speaking members of community, I ﬁnd myself in possession of sexological data pertaining to a group that no one else has ever researched. And my preliminary findings agree with the framing of OS as an orientation.

As a sexologist, I begin to see Objectum Sexuality as part of a continuum of human/object interactions. Casual sex toy users are waaaay over there one end of the scale and OS folks are waaay over there on the other side - with hearts, souls, bodies and brain wiring all conspiring to keep them ﬁrmly oriented to things the rest of us conspire to consider inanimate. Fetishists are somewhere in the middle. I‘ve created a scale to describe all this, which I call the Marsh Spectrum of Human/Object Intimacy.
Meanwhile, Objectum Sexuality is in the news: most recently on The Tyra Show (Oct. 2, 2009) and Good Morning America (April 8, 2009). As the only “OS expert” in existence (if you don‘t count all the people whose lived experiences make them the true experts), I appeared on both programs with Erika. However, social and professional understanding of OS has lagged behind media and Internet exposure.
The big story, the one which has so far eluded the OMG! set and the right wing bloggers, is not that people are in love with objects, but that objects may be in love with them. Follow? In another time and place and culture, the OS folks would be shamans, and there are still a lot of places where OS would not be considered that weird. In our modern industrial countries, where quantum physicists proclaim the consciousness and decision-making capacities of subatomic particles - who am I to say that matter intrinsically imbued with consciousness (I am, therefore I think) is not also imbued with erotic consciousness? Chew on that while I tell you a little more about my research results.
I used an online survey program. Respondents ranged from eighteen to sixty years old. They included ﬁfteen biological females, two biological males, three transgender men, and one intersex person. Most of the respondents said they were aware of their attraction to objects for more than ten years. Twelve have known since childhood. Most consider their attraction to objects as an “orientation,” though not necessarily a sexual one. As I mentioned before, most reject the labels of “fetish” or “paraphilia.” Most express happiness with their relationships and only wish to feel more accepted by society.
The study participants were attracted to a wide range of objects, including transportation, small structures, large buildings and landmarks, machines and appliances, technology, sporting goods, and statues. To express their affection, eighteen OS people take pictures of their objects; six make models; and nine create other forms of visual art. Some make websites or write poems. Most enjoy non-sexual human contact - friendships within and without the OS community. Only two people desire sexual relationships with human beings. Eleven have never considered it and never will. Contrary to the popular perception of OS being “caused” by sexual trauma, only four report a history of abuse or coercion. I still need to do some careful analysis, but it appears that interest in objects either pre-dates or is not connected to the trauma.
As for Asperger‘s Syndrome: ﬁve people reported a diagnosis of Asperger‘s Syndrome and one of Autism. Four people without a diagnosis identify as having Asperger‘s Syndrome. Three say they have “some traits” of Autism or Asperger‘s. Respondents also reported ADD or ADHD, sensory integration issues, and Tourette‘s Syndrome. Two suffer from post-traumatic stress and one from depression. No one has indicated any delusional psychiatric disorders.
As you might expect, most of the respondents report an overwhelming lack of understanding from family, friends, employers, health professionals, and society. So far, media exposure and the Internet have not given the OS community much except the ability to ﬁnd each other. And that is mostly due to Erika Eiffel and a few others brave enough to step into the glare of public ridicule. In my own naivety, living as I do in that realm of humbling wonder and passionate inquiry, I was not prepared to be villiﬁed on numerous right-wing and Anglican blogs after my comments aired on Good Morning America.

But more on that, and other complexities, next week.

People Who Love Objects, Part II

by Amy Marsh

"I don't know who's worse, the Whack Job in love with buildings, the Whack Job "sexologist" who thinks this is some new form of sexual orientation or GMA for airing this crap!” Comment on the Good Morning America website.

“My wife is an inanimate object during sex.” Comment on DVD Talk Forum.

“Perhaps one way to look at the Object-sexuals is that they're not so much reacting to the love from the objects but the love of God that supports those objects. That object-sexuals are sensing the love of God on the quantum level of reality and then returning that love on the physical plane.” Whitechapel blog.

“Never trust a ʻsexologistʻ.” Catholic blog.

“[W]hat next you gone (sic) talk about people havin (sic) sex with animals it is just gros [sic].” Comment on The Tyra Banks Show website.

And my personal favorite:
“Osama bin Laden must be laughing his ass off, thinking how easy it's going to be to finish us off...” Comment on Babalu blog.

The above comments have been gathered from various blogs or websites in reaction to videos and articles about Objectum Sexuality. I have the honor of being the “sexologist” (a word which always seems to show up in quotes) in question, and when the Good Morning America piece aired on April 8, 2009, I was not prepared for the venom that awaited me or that wrapped itself in googles around my name. Erika Eiffel, of course, was already used to public reaction in the form of sneering insults and cheap phallocentric jokes (mainly about the shape of the Eiffel Tower).
Hostility to objectum sexuality took me by surprise. I had force myself to step back and view it as a sexological and sociological phenomenon, one I could study as a “window” into the public soul.
After Good Morning America aired its piece, I knew enough to turn down an offer to appear on the Laura Ingraham Show. (Whew!) But I then made the mistake of appearing on live radio, the Dom Giordano Show, in Pittsburgh, on April 9th. I hadnʻt checked out the station schedule, only Giordanoʻs bio, and so was not aware that Dom was rubbing airwaves with Hannity, Limbaugh and their ilk. Boy, did I learn in a hurry. Once on air, he didnʻt want the facts of my research - he just wanted to push me up against a wall, as he was so very incensed about reporter Kate Snow and ABC bringing the topic of Objectum Sexuality into American homes over breakfast. (That he was bringing the same topic into American homes was somehow supposed to be okay.) I had to assure him that Objectum Sexuals (those happy few) were not going to be running rampant in the streets, contributing to our collective moral decay. “This sounds like it worries you, Dom. Would you like to talk about it?” Iʻm not really trained as that type of therapist, but I feel this was my best line of the all too brief interview. He cut me off when I brought up the connection with Autism.
Hostility to objectum sexuality took me by surprise. I had force myself to step back and view it as a sexological and sociological phenomenon, one I could study as a “window” into the public soul.
One man included OS in his homophobic tirade posted in the comments section of the Spectator (UK) website: “Homosexuality will lead into a complete free for all - incest, zoophilia, sado-masochism (sic), polygamy, pan sexuality, objectum sexuality, necrophilia and much more.” I hate to tell this guy, but, sexologically speaking, human history has been a kind of “free for all” all along... we just havenʻt wanted to admit it.
Sometimes though, you gotta slog through the blogs to hit pay dirt or at least a tantalizing hint on the treasure map. And I did hit it, yes indeed.
“The Eiffel Tower is married, but the Berlin Wall is a total slut. But, who am I to judge?” Comment on The Tyra Show website

Who indeed?
Youʻve heard of people who taste colors or hear numbers? You could say this is a real life “extra sensory perception,” with at least sixty reported varieties. Itʻs called “synesthesia.”
People who experience ordinal linguistic personification synesthesia detect personalities mostly in letters and numbers, days of the week and months of the year, and more rarely, personalities in objects. You can ask those folks about the virtue of the Berlin Wall. Theyʻd probably be able to tell you.
So this was my serendipitous pay dirt: the link to synesthesia. I stumbled across a blog written by a woman Iʻll call “Martha,” who wondered if synesthesia could explain why she persistently and consistently perceives gender in her common household objects. “I get a clear sense of the gender of many inanimate objects. The toaster is male, the teaspoons are boys, the coffee pot is matronly. It's always been this way in my head, and I assume it's just a weirdo form of synesthesia. But not all inanimate objects are clearly gendered (I think my laptop is a neutered male but I could be wrong, and where would I look to check?).” I emailed her to see if I could use her quote in this column. Though Martha senses gender, she emphasizes that she is not an OS person and says that kind of attraction is foreign to her. She did mention her daughter senses gender in objects too. (Synesthesia seems to run in families.) Martha says her husband wonders if weʻre “basically all hard-wired to be animists.” Objectum Sexuals and people with quite small children (who animate everything) would tend to agree.
Wikipedia says synesthesia is neurologically based, showing - and involves two or more “sensory or cognitive pathways” triggered by stimulation. It is estimated that some form of synesthesia occurs in about 1 out of 23 people, with a higher incidence among people with Autism and epilepsy. Psychedelic drugs and certain kinds of strokes are also associated with synesthesia. According to diagnostic criteria established by neurologist Richard Cytowic, synesthesia is “involuntary and automatic,” “consistent,” “highly memorable,” “laden with affect,” and often tied into a certain place or location. Location, location! Could this explain, in part, the appeal of the tower, the wall, the bridge, the stationary machinery? Landmarks, anyone?
Synesthetes feel very natural about their perceptions, though they eventually become aware that others might not understand that “two is yellow and four is green.” Synesthesia is not considered a mental disorder, by the way, and the people who experience it often enjoy this special gift.
Mixed Signals, a synesthesia website asks, “Do you dislike the personality of your bedroom’s doorframe?” Unfortunately, I did not ask my OS survey respondents about objects they disliked, only about ones they loved. I may have missed a great opportunity there—because if attraction for some objects is possible, then so is repulsion, and it would be interesting to hear about that too.
So if one can perceive the gender of a teapot or the personality of a doorframe, is it that much of a stretch to anticipate the gendered attraction that for some people, just might be inevitable?
Could Objectum Sexuality be (at least in part) a “sexual synesthesia?”
Some of the responses to my OS survey provide a good reason for asking that question, because there are hints of it, here and there.
I asked the respondents what attracted them to their objects: “His smell, colors, shape some parts that attract me sexual (sic). I love to be with him, he is my 'good star'.” “His looks and personality.”
One of the hardest things for a non-OS person to understand is how an OS person can feel that the object is “alive” and communicative. But thatʻs often how the OS people perceive their lovers. One of the FtM transgender respondents said, “The object I love is independent. It (has its) own identity and it is never a part or symbol of another human.” A woman said, “Unlike human-human, vocal communication is not the preferred method. Our communication is based on vibes and sensations received through various senses.” Another had a similar response, “telepathy and sometimes verbally when on my own with them. I also touch them when I'm near them.” Some expressed a sense of “knowingness” about the objects. However, others said they donʻt communicate with their objects at all, and donʻt expect communication from them.
Remember that synesthesia was described as “highly memorable” and “laden with affect.” OS relationships are often very emotional and deeply committed. A woman who took the survey said, “The object I loved the longest was part of my life and we could be together with no questions asked. We worked together, we played together, and we loved together.” Another said, “[B]ecause weʻre always there for each other and I feel that I can tell him all my problems without being judged by others and heʻs never let me down.”
Most of us would agree that love like this is as good as it gets—at least weʻd agree if we werenʻt so biased in favor of relationships between two human beings. One person described her relationships this way: “They are real. They are complex. They are no less and no more of value than other romantic relationships.” I read this quote on Good Morning America.
OS relationships are not uniform in character. They may be happy or sad, monogamous or polyamorous. They might be rather platonic and tender or unabashedly sexual. One man praised, “[T]he absolute beauty of my objects. Light, colour, design and the fact that the very sight of them makes me want to cum.” When asked to describe “the best thing about Objectum Sexual relationships,” a few people had responses suggestive of trauma, such as, “the object can't hurt you.” Most expressed contentment and satisfaction: “It makes (me) dang happy!”
The striking commonality, with regard to my survey research, is that attraction to objects seems to feel as natural and right to OS people as attraction to humans feels to those who are attracted to humans of various kinds. For OS people, to do, to be otherwise, is almost incomprehensible. This is why I think we can understand it best by generally referring to OS as an “orientation.”
And we want to understand, what makes an erotic orientation feel so foundational? The “innate” quality of object attraction, described and experienced by the OS people, must certainly involve specific kinds of neurological “wiring” and brain activity and hormonal cascades, combined with possible links to the Autism spectrum and sensory integration issues, and even a kind of “sexual synesthesia.” Wouldnʻt you love to see some brain imaging studies and have some really good data? I know I would! In the meantime, letʻs stick with the attitude expressed by another Tyra Show viewer, who wrote, “[H]ey whatever works for them is kool with me.”

For Part III and my final column on this topic (for now), Iʻll take you a little deeper inside OS and the Aspergerʻs Syndrome connection

People Who Love Objects, Part III

by Amy Marsh

“I feel...noticed by my lover. Feel his present [sic]. I communicate seldom in speaking words. I communicate in minds and with touchings. Touchings at special hot spots... I feel a short flash of energie [sic] during the touching. If I´m stroke [sic] the metal skin of my lover, first it feels cold but more and more I feel a warm floating.” Survey respondent from Germany

Sexology is a rich mix, consisting of data on human sexual behavior, clinical practice, history, anthropology, psychology, sociology, human rights, erotology, entrepreneurism, anatomy and physiology, education, medicine, law, politics - just about anything can be simmered in a sexological stew. Pondering Objectum Sexuality has allowed me to conceptually toss some really interesting ingredients together. In this three-part column, Iʻm offering you a few choice morsels, even as the main course continues to cook. Academically, this is rather premature. However, there has been so much sensationalized coverage and ignorant public commentary that I reckon most researchers are avoiding Objectum Sexuality as a freak show unworthy of their attentive inquiry or they simply toss it into “paraphilias” and have done with it. A pity, because this topic has many intriguing aspects. Itʻs time to bring them into play.
So letʻs take a closer look at the “ingredients” (so far) in our main dish of Objectum Sexuality.

Daddy, That Dresser is Leering at Me!
Earlier this week, I unearthed a reference to “object-personification synesthesia” in an article called “When ʻ3ʻ is a Jerk and ʻEʻ is a King: Personifying Inanimate Objects in Synesthesia,” (Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience in 2007). This article describes two experiments concerning a teenage girl who experiences objects “as having rich and detailed personalities.” She apparently disliked some objects so much that she asked her father to remove them from her bedroom.
What I want to know is, has she ever had a crush on an object?
Discovering a link to synesthesia, or determining that object personification synesthesia is a possible cause of OS, does not diminish the nature of this kind of attraction. It simply gives us a way to understand or explore the neurological mechanisms that may be involved and expands our opportunities for inquiry. Ultimately, why one person loves one bridge and not another is just as mysterious as the attractions and dislikes of people for other people.

Married to the Bells
Literary or historical references are so sparse, theyʻre simply “seasonings” added for flavor. Examples include the myth of Pygmalion and his love for a statue as well as the Hunchback of Notre Dameʻs passionate love of cathedral bells. Victor Hugo writes most explicitly: “Claude Frollo had made him the bell ringer of Notre-Dame, and to give the great bell in marriage to Quasimodo was to give Juliet to Romeo.”

Animism and Quantum Physics
Many people have held the belief that everything, even inanimate objects, contains a soul or spiritual essence. This belief can be found in modern utterances, such as the Bioneers motto, “itʻs all alive, itʻs all connected.” It rubs up against certain findings of quantum physics. Years ago, halfway through The Dancing Wu Li Masters, I called the author, Gary Zukav, in great excitement. Sub-atomic particles make decisions? Communicate over immeasurable distances? Wow! He listened for a little while, then gently referred me to an organization of science-minded artists.
Though a detailed discussion is beyond the scope of this column, I want you to know that Objectum Sexuals and Object-Personification Synesthetes are experientially located somewhere in the middle of all this. If we wanted, the rest of us could consider these people as having special, wonderful gifts, which might even turn out to be an ability to experience another facet of the nature of reality.

Marginalized Sexual Minorities
Then there are all the issues associated with being marginalized and misunderstood: lack of acceptance, a dearth of informed medical and mental health care providers, discrimination, and so on.
In addition to the above challenges faced by people who identify as part of a sexual (or emotional) minority, there are the special circumstances experienced by a community beginning to emerge from obscurity and advocating for itself. This includes tension between those who want to “come out” and express themselves in a burst of no-holds barred glory (once called “letting the freak flag fly”—nowadays called posting a YouTube video), and those who advocate a more moderate and decorous emergence into (or alongside) the mainstream.
Within the OS community, “sexual minority issues” are not just limited to OS. Among the twenty-one people who took my survey, I heard from two transgender men; one “pre-op gender neuter” person; at least two or three people who consider themselves asexual; and several who are gay, bisexual, or polyamorous.

Autism, Aspergerʻs Syndrome, and Other Neurological Factors
Autism spectrum conditions are another important consideration among the people I surveyed. Most of you have heard about Autism, and most probably have some idea what it is. Some of you may have also heard of Aspergerʻs Syndrome (AS), which is often compared to “high functioning Autism.” Some experts distinguish between the two by saying AS people are generally more interested in social interaction than people diagnosed with Autism. While Aspies want to have successful relationships with friends, lovers, co-workers, and bosses, they typically have difficulties with many of the basic rules of social interactions as well as the emotional nuances of human relationships. AS people often struggle with how to conduct a conversation that doesnʻt develop into a monologue about their favorite topics; how to read body language; how to dress or move in a way that attracts others; and very importantly, they often have difficulty in shifting their attention away from their all-consuming special interest passions and back toward interactions with the people in their lives.
A couple of years ago, I did some student research into Aspergerʻs Syndrome and sexuality issues—surveying about 100 people. Most were either diagnosed or self-identified as having AS. The survey also included a few “neurotypical” partners. As a result of this research, I feel that for many AS people, the intellectual pursuit of their special interest is equally or more pleasurable than sex or emotional intimacy. It takes a lot to pry them from it, even temporarily. (I get this way while writing!) I initially came to my inquiry into Objectum Sexuality with a bit of an assumption that object relationships were the “special interest squared”—a way to combine intellectual perseveration with sex. Now I understand that this explanation is inadequate. It might be partially true for some, but itʻs not the whole story.
In my OS survey, five people had a diagnosis of Aspergerʻs Syndrome, one a diagnosis of Autism, and four identified as being on the Autism spectrum even though they did not have a diagnosis, for whatever reason. Three people said theyʻd been told they might be on the Aspergerʻs or Autism spectrum, or said they had “some symptoms” but didnʻt feel they were pronounced enough to merit a diagnosis.

There were other neurological complexities: six people reported sensory integration problems, which means that certain sounds, fabrics, colors, types of touch, smells, etc. can disrupt a personʻs functioning and processing of other sensory information. Three people said they had attention deficit disorders. One had executive function issues. One person reported Touretteʻs Syndrome. Another reported an unspecified pervasive developmental disorder. (Autism is also classified as a pervasive developmental disorder.)
Disability and Sex Issues
This means that in addition to the specific challenges of the above conditions, a large number of the people I surveyed are dealing with general disability issues, which often also include stigma and marginalization. Small wonder that a few people reported depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress.

Sexual Trauma
Thereʻs a popular misconception that OS people love objects because they are turned off human beings after suffering sexual trauma. In my survey, four people reported having been coerced or forced sexually at some point in their lives. I did not ask for details as to severity or type of force or coercion. This number seems less significant to me than some of the other “ingredients.” It seems to be similar to the sexual trauma percentages Iʻve heard for general groups of women. And again, depression, anxiety and PTSS would be associated with this.

Human Relationships
Another misconception is that OS people “donʻt like” other humans or canʻt get along with them, but this is not the case. While they might reject sexual contact with humans, most report enjoying the company of family, co-workers, and friends (particularly other OS friends). Though eleven people said they have never considered a sexual relationship with a human and never will, fifteen of the twenty one said they enjoy or would like to enjoy emotional, non-sexual human companionship in addition to their object relationships.
Seven people had a history that included one to five sexual relationships with humans. One person reported more than ten. Some of these people have since decided that human sexual relationships are not for them. However, two people did report having a sexual relationships with a human lover, concurrent with their object loves.

Sensory Integration Problems with Human Lovers
“Shelly” says her boyfriend is fine with her OS relationship—thatʻs not the trouble. Instead, the two of them are grappling with her sensory integration issues, which affect their ability to be comfortably intimate. Shellyʻs ability to enjoy human sex is often short-circuited by her reactions to certain fabrics, fluctuations in skin temperature, certain kinds of touch, and other sensations. Her boyfriend struggles to understand her responses. A touch or activity that seems fine one day may be all wrong the next. Lack of consistency makes it hard for him to take Shellyʻs sensory difficulties seriously. Shelly loves both of her relationships, but her object lover has an advantage in that she does not trigger Shellyʻs sensory difficulties.
As a child, Shelly narrowly escaped a diagnosis of Autism, but as an adult she has been diagnosed with Aspergerʻs Syndrome. Shellyʻs sensory integration difficulties are shared by many people on the Autism spectrum. However, such difficulties are not limited to Aspies and Objectum Sexuals, and are not addressed by sexologists and sex therapists as often as they should be!

Objectum Sexuals or Objectum Emotionals?
In my survey, not everyone identified as “objectum sexual.” Some preferred “Objektophile,” “gay man,” “mechasexual or car lover,” and “bisexual.” One person said, “[O]bjectum-inspired, -fascinated, affectionate (not romantic either).” Another simply stated, “As a person, my sexuality is not who I am.”

Masturbation or Partner Sex?
Seven of the respondents said they have never masturbated, ever. One woman said, “I don't feel any sexual attraction to humans, this (and human bodys [sic] in this context) disgust me!” Others told me clearly that any sex they have is partner sex with their object, not masturbation. However, we need to understand that what OS people consider partner sex is likely to be quite different than our human-to-human concepts.
Aside from a few general questions, such as the masturbation question, I deliberately did not press my respondents for intimate details. I understand some of the irritation and anger this community feels, due to enormous amounts of impertinent and insulting comments and inquiries. Therefore, I controlled my avid desire for more explicit information.
And again, some people did not consider their feelings for objects to be sexual or even romantic. Yet, they were still engaged in a relationship.

The Best Thing About Human/Object Relationships?
I asked this question and the answers fell into two broad categories. The first category of answers stressed advantages of OS love over human to human intimacy (perceived as more difficult, constraining, and dangerous):

“The object can't hurt you.”

“More freedom, perhaps.”

“Possibility for multiple lovers and more freedom on my own side. Other advantages are the same as non-OS relationships.”

“I´m independent from all the human sexism.”

“Safer than with people.”

“Not to have the problems I would have in a normal relationship. I [donʻt] have to lie to the object I love. I don't need to have headache when I don't want to have sex.”

“Partner doesn't cheat with other women.”

Interestingly, most of the people who gave these answers had an Asperger or Autism diagnosis or identified as such.
The second category of answers focused the joys of OS love:

“The best thing about any relationship is simply having it. Just because I don't love people in a romantic way... should not dictate that I must be alone.”

“[T]hat it makes us (me and my lovers) feel so good, and happy. [I]t is the most wonderful thing... [I] really donʻt know what [I] would be doing.. if [I] didnʻt have my OS. [I]t is a big part of me, and my life.”

“My beloved and also my beloved place are there everyday all the time. I draw my strength from that.”

“I don`t know. OS relationship is difficult. To have a relationship makes life attractive. It lets me feel that I`m alive. To fall in love is such a wonderful gift. For all kinds of relationships and for all ways of love.”

“Laying in bed with my lovers, spending time with them, watching movies with them, always having somebody there for me that truly understands me. To have somebody like that that I'm also sexually attracted to is a huge bonus. We have a very well-rounded relationship.”

“Mutual loyalty and understanding.”

“The contact with my beloved object, admiring the strengthness [sic], power and technology, touching and caressing... showing the object that there's somebody loving and respecting it.”

“The love.”

I have been touched in many ways by my contact with members of OS Internationale. The people responding to my survey spent a great deal of time giving thoughtful and sometimes detailed answers to open-ended questions. I particularly appreciate the way in which the Europeans with limited English labored over my survey, with a dictionary, in order to express themselves as accurately as possible. For some, I hear this took hours.

I have also appreciated my discussions with Erika Eiffel as well as her generosity in bringing me into the realm of media. It has been fascinating to see firsthand how Erikaʻs articulate and sincere presentation is often able to win over determined sceptics, even including several people attending last Julyʻs Sexual Attitude Restructuring (SAR) Program at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

I am looking forward to expanding and deepening my communication with this community. In the spirit of passionate inquiry, I encourage others to pursue a respectful dialogue with this very interesting group of people. - carnalnation.com/

OS Expressions
The Thing with a Soul - by Rudi from Germany
'Married' to the Eiffel Tower? - by Erika Eiffel
I am Human but my Partner is Not - by A.L.
Thoughts from Me... an OS Person - by D. from Berlin
A few more thoughts... - by D. from Berlin
The Only Love for Me... by B.C. Hall
Love Letter to Letters... by Eva K. from The Netherlands
My Ode to the Magic Being of a Word... by Eva K. from The Netherlands

An Introspective View of Objectùm-Sexuality - by Adam M. from USA

ANIMISM - coming 28 Sept 2013

"People Who Love Objects" preview

So-So Magazine - Feb 2011

"In Love with the Wall"

Stuff Mom Never Told You (podcast) - 26 Jan 2011

"What is Objectum-Sexuality?"

Current TV - Jan 2010

"Objectum-Sexualism"

Tyra Banks - Nov 2009

"After Dark"

Photographer Kyrre Lien - Nov 2009

"A Concrete Love Story"

The Globe and Mail - 20 Aug 2009

"Love Objects"

Golden Gate [X]press - 17 Apr 2009

"A Date with Golden Gate"

Good Morning America - 8 Apr 2009

"In Love with the Eiffel Tower"

RTL Punkt 12 - Feb 2009 German

"Verheiratet mit dem Eiffelturm"

De Pers - 29 Jul 2008

"Objectum-seksualiteit" - English translation here

Irish National Radio 1 & pt 2 - 4 Jun 2008

"Ray D'Arcy Show" two parts mp3

Bizarre Magazine - Jun 2008

"Wall Love"

The Sun - 27 May 2008

"Married to the Berlin Wall" (sarcastic)

Kopenhagen.dk - 27 Apr 2008

"Berlinmuren" interview with Lars Laumann

Wunderkammer - 30 Apr 2008

"Berlinmuren" art critique

Bild.de - Apr 2008 German

"Berlinmuren" exhibition

der Spiegel International - 11 May 2007

"Falling in Love with Things"

100 Hödjare - 2006 Swedish

"Sveriges Skönaste Manniskor"

Documentary - 2000

"Miss Guillotine" (glamourized)

Married to a Doll: Why One Man Advocates Synthetic Love

Davecat lives with his wife and mistress, both dolls, and thinks synthetic partners are ideal for those who don't want to deal with humans' inconsistencies.

Julie Beck

Davecat with his mistress, Elena (left) and wife Sidore (right). (Renato Velarde)

Davecat met his future wife, Sidore Kuroneko at a goth club in 2000, so the story goes. The less romantic but perhaps more true version is that he saved up for a year and a half to buy her online. She cost about $6,000.
Sidore is a RealDoll, manufactured by Abyss Creations in the shape of a human woman. She is covered in artificial skin made of silicone, so she’s soft. These high-end, anatomically correct—even equipped with fake tongues—love dolls (or capital-D Dolls) are ostensibly made for sex. But 40-year-old Davecat (a nickname acquired from videogames that he now prefers to go by) and others who call themselves iDollators see their dolls as life partners, not sex toys. Davecat and Sidore (or, as he sometimes calls her, Shi-chan) obviously aren’t legally married, but they do have matching wedding bands that say “Synthetik [sic] love lasts forever,” and he says they’re considering some sort of ceremony for their 15th anniversary.
Davecat considers himself an activist for synthetic love, and the rights of synthetic humans, such as Shi-chan. He’s active online, with an iDollator blog, “Shouting to hear the echoes,” that he updates regularly, and has appeared on TLC’s show My Strange Addiction, as well as in a BBC documentary called Guys and Dolls.
According to the backstory of Davecat’s relationships, his Doll mistress (and Sidore’s girlfriend), Elena Vostrikova, saw Davecat and Sidore in Guys and Dolls and moved from Russia to be with them. Davecat purchased Elena, or Lenka, in 2012, and the three of them now share a one-bedroom apartment in southeastern Michigan.
I spoke with Davecat over email about the ups and downs of synthetic relationships.
When and why did you purchase your first Doll? Were you thinking of companionship at the time, or was it just for sex?
I bought Shi-chan back in 2000. Admittedly, my reasons for purchasing her were 70 percent sex, 30 percent companionship. I've always been attracted to artificial women such as mannequins, and especially Gynoids, which are robots made in the likeness of human females. In late 1998 one of my best friends, showed me the RealDoll website, as she knew I was keen on artificial women. I thought they were gorgeous creations, and having one would not only dispel loneliness, but be excellent for sex as well. And I was right!
When did you start feeling like Sidore was not just a sex toy but someone/something you were in a relationship with?
It actually didn't take me too long to regard Shi-chan as a synthetic person, and not simply a thing; it occurred pretty much when I opened her crate for the first time. I was immediately stunned by her lifelike beauty, and after I mentally collected myself, extracted her from her crate, and sat her down on the couch, I just held her in my arms for a while. It felt so right and natural, if you'll pardon the pun. It seemed perfectly normal for me to treat something that resembles an organic woman the same way I'd treat an actual organic woman.
Part of the (sexual) appeal of synthetics is how much they look like their organic counterparts. If you have a robot shaped like a refrigerator, that won't have as much draw as a robot in the shape of a human; people will be more willing to interact with the human-shaped one. Further still, if that humanoid robot has artificial skin and sounds like a human, most people dealing with it are more than likely to even have a moment where they forget it's a robot. With Sidore, her draw was instantaneous. There was never a moment when Shi-chan—or any Doll, for that matter—was merely an object to me.
Have you always been interested in dolls, and if so, was it always in a sexual way?
I've always been fascinated by the idea of artificial people, specifically artificial women. Before I knew Dolls existed, I'd long identified as being a technosexual, even before I knew there was a word for it. A technosexual is someone who is attracted to robots. Like any subculture, there's many shades within the term. Some technosexuals prefer their organic partners to dress as robots; others are attracted to robots who don't necessarily have a humanoid appearance, such as R2-D2. My preference is for humanoid robots that are covered in artificial flesh, so they look organic upon first glance; both Geminoid-F and the Actroid series of Gynoids by Hiroshi Ishiguro are excellent examples.
Obviously, I’m sexually attracted to synthetic humans, such as Gynoids and Dolls, but the much larger part of their appeal is that they're humans, but they don't possess any of the unpleasant qualities that organic, flesh and blood humans have. A synthetic will never lie to you, cheat on you, criticize you, or be otherwise disagreeable. It’s rare enough to find organics who don't have something going on with them, and being able to make a partner of one is rarer still.
In your episode of My Strange Addiction, you talk about how you're perfectly aware she's a doll, and you're not trying to pretend she's a person. Yet you consider yourself married to Sidore, a marriage/relationship being something that is inherently two-sided. How do you reconcile those two things in your head at once?
Both Sidore and Elena have two backstories. One in which Sidore is the daughter of a Japanese father and an English mother, and was born in Japan and raised in Manchester, England. Elena's is similar; she grew up in Vladivostok, Russia. The other backstory they have is that they're Dolls. Self-aware Dolls, but Dolls nonetheless. In one backstory they have favorite foods; in the other, they don't eat, becaus they don't have digestive tracts... because they're Dolls. You get the idea.
I've had that dichotomy for as long as I've had Shi-chan and Lenka, and it doesn't seem to be going away any time soon. As I write their characters, they each express themselves through the Internet; they both have their own Twitter feeds, and Shi-chan has a Tumblr. Playing up the Doll aspect allows me to get comedy from the situation, such as when Sidore wonders why I don't just remove my sinuses when my allergies flare up, but writing detailed histories for them exercises my creative writing skills, and makes them more 'human'. Like I said, the dichotomy probably won't be solved any time soon.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a human woman, and would you want to in the future? Do you find yourself attracted to human women?
I'd been in relationships with organic women prior to, and after, having Shi-chan enter my life. When I say “relationships,” I really mean “affairs where I was the other man;” I've never been in a situation where I was with an organic woman who didn't already have a boyfriend.
I don't consider myself to be a very persuasive person; when I was growing up, my father was always pushing me into doing things that I didn't want to do, and as a consequence, I didn't ever want to be That Guy Who's Being Aggressively Persuasive. So instead of asking whatever lass I was with to consider me as a boyfriend, I simply wouldn't force the issue.
I'm still quite attracted to organic women, at least visually. But just because someone's attractive doesn't mean they have a mindset or a personality that’s compatible with my own. I figure that instead of chasing after an ideal person who either doesn't exist in the first place, or is already with someone else, why not buy a Doll? I don't gamble, and I'm not keen on taking emotional chances. We've all seen relationships where things start out fantastically, and then just end up falling apart. A friend of mine just got divorced after 17 years of marriage. That's an enormous investment of time, money, and emotion, and I'm not interested in having someone in my life who may bail at any time, or who transforms into someone unpleasant. Ultimately, getting romantically involved with an organic woman doesn't seem worth it to me.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION] — Elena and Sidore (Courtesy Davecat)

In December 2012, you purchased a second Doll. How come? Did you feel like your marriage was getting stale?
Back in the early 2000s, my goal was to purchase at least one Doll from every company that's out there. One of the objectives of my blog is to introduce people who aren't iDollators or technosexuals to the idea of synthetic partners, and having multiple Dolls from various companies would enable me to compare and contrast them, so that people could learn what makes them different, and choose the one that's right for them. Also, I always thought it would be cool to have photoshoots featuring multiple Dolls interacting with each other; doing so would further make them less seem like 'things', and more like people. As it is, however, there are around 20 different companies across six or so countries, and unfortunately, I don't have that kind of money. So now my goal is about five. Short of acquiring a two-bedroom flat, I won't have the space for more than five, either.
In a more fictitious context, I thought it would be nice to get a silicone companion for Sidore, so she isn't lonely or bored whenever I'm away from home. As they're both bisexual, they get to enjoy each other on multiple levels. If anything, adding Elena to our partnership has only improved it, as we all appreciate what each other has to offer. Besides, if and when I manage to get additional Dolls, Sidore will always remain my wife; I've no intention of marrying any of the other Dolls we'll have.
My marriage to Sidore is open in the context of she allows me to do anything I want, as long as it's only with a synthetic woman. Incidentally, those are the exact same conditions under which I'll allow her to do anything extracurricular. Very straightforward, yet simple!
But you say you've been in relationships with organic women "prior to and after having Shi-chan enter my life." Is there a story there? Did a relationship/affair you were having with an organic woman cause problems with your relationship with Sidore or vice versa?
I was seeing an organic lass—a coworker, from several jobs ago—who knew that I had Shi-chan. This was back when I was of the mindset that Sidore would remain my wife, but I'd still look now and again for an organic lass to be friends with benefits with. Our relationship started out alright, but several months into it, whenever I’d attempt to get together after work with her, she'd always have something come up. I was beating myself up over it when I realized: Why am I wasting my time trying to get her to hang out and be romantically involved with me, when I have a Doll who is in love with me at home? Plus, it was a bit of a contest with said coworker, as she was interested in two other blokes while she was seeing me. As I'm not competitive, either, I decided that pursuing her was a wasted effort, especially in light of Sidore not requiring any of that silliness.
Then there was the lass I bought a house with back in 2003. I was attempting to help her out of a bad relationship. She claimed to be one of my best friends. She wasn't the least bit romantically interested in me, but I thought that if I helped her and she and I lived under the same roof, eventually she'd view me more favorably. Turns out that didn't happen, as I later discovered that she was a pathological liar with a coke addiction, and I moved out of the house after living there for only four months. That really drove home to me that I guess I'm too trusting with some organics. Some of them can be far too unpredictable. Synthetics have a consistency that I'm thankful for.
What is a typical week like for you? Do you spend most of your time at home with Sidore and Elena, or do you go out with friends? When you do go out, do you ever bring either of them with you? I imagine people in public would react strangely—does that keep you from doing coupley stuff like going to movies?
Contrary to what most of the TV shows we appear in would have you believe, I actually go out quite a bit! Well, enough, I'd say. I'm not a “people person,” and although I love my friends, it's better for an introvert like myself to spend more time alone. Having said that, though, I always have a fantastic time whenever I'm with mates.
During the week, I'm usually at work—I do data entry and other bits and bobs at a machine shop—then I come home and either catch up on the Internet, or interact with Sidore and Elena. My job has me come in early, so I usually go to bed early Friday evenings, after meeting my friends online for whatever videogame has caught our fancy, or physically hanging out with them. Saturday evenings have me getting together with friends as well, and Sunday, I usually spend time with my rubber troublemakers, taking photos, watching a film or a telly program, writing or doing research for “Shouting to hear the echoes,” or getting up to other things.
Also contrary to what most people believe, I don't take Shi-chan or Lenka with me when I go out. For one, they're heavy (78 lbs and 57 lbs, respectively), and for another, I'm not so deluded as to think that taking them out and about with me wouldn't raise more than a few eyebrows. Also, I wouldn't want to put either myself or whichever synthetic lass I'd have with me in danger. I don't trust random people enough to think we wouldn't be verbally or physically attacked. People have a long and sordid history of being violent toward that which they don't understand. Or so I'm told.
What do your family and friends think of your relationship?
The way my friends view my relationship ranges from “Well, that's just what Davecat gets up to, I suppose,” to “Be sure to tell your girls I said ‘Hi!'” Most of them are cool with it; pretty much all of my friends are into quirky things, so they can empathize. I wouldn't be surprised if there are a few among them who would rather see me with an organic lass, but overall, they think Sidore and Elena are rather neat. Curiously enough, more of my female friends like them than my male ones. A couple of female friends have picked out articles of clothing for Shi-chan and Lenka on a few occasions!
Of my Mum and Dad, Mum was more open-minded of the two—years ago, when I was in my eyeliner phase, she taught me how to apply it properly—so although she probably would've liked to be a grandmother at some point, she was okay with my unconventional partnership. Dad, on the other hand, to this day categorically refuses to talk about Sidore, Dolls, Gynoids, etc. He's never come out and said it, but he wishes that I were more conventional and acted like everyone else. I wouldn't say that me being an iDollator has driven a wedge into our relationship, as the wedge was already there long before Sidore entered my life. I once told him, half-jokingly, that his attitude is no way to treat his daughter-in-law, but as the man has no sense of humor, he didn't think much of that statement.
A more practical consideration: wear and tear. In the Guys and Dolls documentary, there's a scene where you send Sidore off to a special RealDoll repairman to get fixed. I don't know if you plan on spending the rest of your life with Sidore, but that is the typical connotation of "married" (divorce rates notwithstanding). What would you do if she ever just became broken beyond repair?
That sort of thing has already happened, after a fashion: Sidore's had three bodies since 2000. Her first body lasted from 2000 to 2003, her next went from 2003 to 2010, and she's still enjoying her third body. As are Elena and I! But seriously, if her body becomes too irreparable, I simply save up some money and buy her a new one. She's looked exactly the same from 2000 to now, excepting the fact that her current body looks more like how I wanted her to look to begin with; namely, she's extraordinarily pale. I'd be lying if I didn't say that when her body comes close to falling apart through entropy, I'm pretty cut up about it, as anyone would be when facing the mortality of a loved one.
Up until about 2006, most of the Doll manufacturers used tin-based silicone. Which is lovely and soft, but was prone to tearing. Now, pretty much all of the various companies use a platinum-based silicone, which is much more durable. Part of the issue with Sidore’s previous two bodies was that she did develop tears, which, depending on how severe they are, can be repaired. When Shi-chan got her surgeries in 2006, she also went to have her joints tightened, which is something that every Doll needs sometimes, no matter who makes them.
Sidore hasn't had a single tear with her current body, and her joints are just now starting to loosen. But purchasing a new body for her every couple of years when she needs it ensures a kind of immortality, and ensures she'll be around as long as I'm around.
Looking to the future, I know you're interested in androids and robotics and the idea of, for lack of a better word, sexbots. As this technology continues to develop, isn't it all just moving towards getting dolls to be more like humans? And if your preference is for dolls, isn't that counterintuitive?
Well, yes and no. For me, Dolls trump organics, but Gynoids—which is a much less limiting term than “sexbots”—trump Dolls. A Doll's only failing is that she can't move or speak of her own accord, whereas a Gynoid would be able to, dependenton advances in technology, of course.
My ideal version of Sidore would be a Gynoid who greatly resembles an organic, but upon closer inspection, she'd have silicone skin and slightly stilted movement. Now the important thing to remember is that Gynoids and androids are like organic humans, but they would lack the qualities that make organics difficult to deal with. They would be pleasant, agreeable, non-judgmental, aesthetically and mentally pleasing, and more. In day-to-day existence, most people have to deal with at least one person whom they'd rather avoid at all costs. The way I see things, your spouse should be easygoing and a joy to come home to, in order to counteract having to deal with all manner of undesirables when you're out and about. I think the best way to reach that goal is through humanoid robots. It's like having your cake, and eating it too.
You consider yourself an advocate for synthetic love, is that right? And on your My Strange Addiction episode, you say "I think it's a matter of time before more people are choosing the synthetic option." Why is that? What kind of person do you think this sort of relationship is right for?
I don't just consider myself an advocate for synthetic love, but for treating synthetic humans with as much respect, if not more, than organic humans. Referring to a synthetic as a “thing,” or a Doll as a “sex toy,” is demeaning and unimaginative. For one, it's entirely dismissive toward the artistry that goes into creating synthetic humans. Nearly everyone who sees a Doll in person has to admit that the level of work that goes into them is incredible, and the technology involved in Gynoids and androids who are capable of speech and movement is astounding without question. If animals have rights, and rightly so, why shouldn't we treat something that looks and acts like a human with similar rights and respect?
Regarding the sort of person a synthetic partner would be perfect for: when people are in failed organic relationships, they're invariably urged to dust themselves off and try again. But what most people don't realize is that not everyone is suited for the “try, try again” mindset, and with each defeat, they're less inclined to make another attempt, which leads to more loneliness, which makes them even more depressed, etc. Being in a relationship with a synthetic means that the organic is taking a stand against loneliness on terms which harm no one. Instead of being miserable, they're doing something about it, without having to waste time, money, and emotion playing silly games to win the fleeting affections of someone who might be wrong for them in the first place.
Apart from technosexuals and childfree people, one group of individuals who would be well-suited for synthetic partners are introverts. This is why I always stress the difference between loneliness and being alone; many of us introverts actually prefer to be alone, as the noise and agitation of being around others can be incredibly draining. But being lonely—that is, the state of not having a special someone who you can occasionally be alone with—is something no one should have to endure. Having a synthetic in your life means that you can interact with them whenever you want to, and when you want to do something that requires solitude, you can have that as well, without being made to feel guilty about it.
The movie Guys and Dolls says that most people who purchase RealDolls are men buying female dolls. Why do you think that is?
For one, Dolls aren't exactly light. Abyss Creations has made great strides in weight reduction and all of the other companies have followed suit, but when high-end ‘love dolls’ first appeared in the U.S., they were pretty substantial. Shi-chan is 5’1″, and her current body is about 78 lbs. Her first body from 2000 was the same height, but around 100 lbs. One reason why there’s not a lot of female iDollators out there is because Dolls tend to be too heavy for a lot of women, which sounds a bit chauvinistic to say, but it’s been corroborated with at least four female iDollators that I personally know. Incidentally, of the people I do know that have male Dolls, with the exception of one, all the owners are gay men.
Furthermore, it seems easier for women to find an organic male partner than it is for men to find an organic female partner. Women, by and large, are more selective than men are, and don't seem to have as much of a need to purchase a Doll as a single, open-minded bloke would.
Also, if more men do start "choosing the synthetic option," as you say, and begin having relationships with objects that are shaped like women, do you think that will encourage the objectification of real women?
The belief that the existence of synthetics encourages the objectification of organic women is baseless. If anything, those of us who are iDollators or technosexuals find that it's more a case of personifying objects. But then, 98 percent of the iDollators and technosexuals I know treat their Dolls like goddesses. I can't really speak for those who don't, and it would be safe to assume that those who would objectify an organic woman would've been practicing that behavior long before knowing about synthetics.
A lot of men are lonely because they're misogynist pricks, true, but a lot of other men are lonely because they don't meet women's expectations. The latter group may be entirely nice individuals, and would treat their girlfriends extraordinarily well, but they're shy, or unappealing on some level, or what have you. (I should note that it goes both ways, gender-wise; there are loads of organic women that remain single due to rejection.) But again, with the synthetic option, individuals who've been romantically passed over for whatever reason don't have to remain lonely. And to detractors who say that once Gynoids are more readily available, men will choose them in droves over organic women, that's rubbish as well. Having a synthetic partner is a preference. What’s more, those of us who desire a synthetic companion leave a larger selection for those people who are only interested in organic partners. We're doing you lot a favor!
Also, I have to ask—do you really feel fulfilled? Does it ever get lonely, is there anything that Sidore and Elena can't offer that you wish you had?
At this stage in the game, I'd have to say that I'm about 99 percent fulfilled. Every time I return home, there are two gorgeous synthetic women waiting for me, who both act as creative muses, photo models, and romantic partners. They make my flat less empty, and I never have to worry about them becoming disagreeable. Because of my status as an iDollator, I've met people across several countries and forged solid friendships. I've seen things I would never have seen were I not an iDollator. I've been interviewed for various television programs and websites, and asked to speak in front of a room full of psychology students about the benefits of synthetic partners. I've collaborated with performance artists and sociology teachers. To this day, I still get people contacting me online, saying that they saw how happy I am with Sidore, and they're saving up for a Doll of their own, to pull them out of their own loneliness. It's true that Sidore and Elena wouldn't exist without me, but without them, I'd be a much more reduced individual, so I owe them quite a lot.
However, that 1 percent of unfulfillment? That's only there because neither Sidore nor Elena are Gynoids. Once that technology becomes affordable, I'll have one made in my wife's likeness, and that'll be the final piece of the puzzle. She'd be able to hug me back whenever I embrace her, we'd be able to attend films and concerts together, and do all manner of things besides. There would be genuine interaction. The foundation for the technology is already there, so I'm convinced it'll happen; it's just a matter of waiting. - www.theatlantic.com/

Meet 'The Woman Who Married the Eiffel Tower': Erika La Tour Eiffel, an 'objectum sexual'

By Rosemary Black /

Erika La Tour Eiffel's madly in love. Her partner resides in Paris and is the tall, strong and silent type. Yet since they married in a ceremony with friends in the City of Love, the logistics of an intimate relationship have been more than a little challenging. Her spouse, after all, is the Eiffel Tower.

Erika is one of a handful of people around the world called "objectum sexuals" - people who fall in love with inanimate objects. Profiled in a documentary entitled "The Woman Who Married the Eiffel Tower," she is shown hugging her "husband" and professing love for him, or it.
An ex U.S. Army soldier, she was reportedly sexually abused while growing up and was diagnosed with a chronic post-traumatic stress disorder. Upon "marrying" the iconic structure, Erika actually changed her surname to LaTour Eiffel. In the documentary, she discusses her relationship with the Parisian landmark, and claims to be very much in love.
Yet the Tower isn't her first love. Previously she was in love with Lance, which was a bow, and during that relationship, she became a world champion in archery.

The term "objectum sexual" was coined by a Swedish woman named Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, who married the Berlin Wall in the 1970s, according to the documentary.
Objectum sexuals are putting up a barrier between themselves and other people, says Debbie Mandel, author of "Addicted to Stress."
"Marriage is about intimacy and being vulnerable," she explains. "These women are not going to be vulnerable, and they have picked these powerful symbols to show, I don't need a man. It can be in my brain. It's brain sex."
The images that objectum sexuals choose to focus their romantic notions on are often very sexual, Mandel says.
The Eiffel Tower's shape has a very visual sexual connotation, she points out, while the Berlin Wall is significant because it's a wall. "The woman who married it is is saying, I am going to fortify myself and no one is going to penetrate me unless I permit it. There is an anger there."
Objectum sexuals can have tremendous difficulty forming a relationship with another person, says psychologist Dorothea Hover-Kramer, which may be why they turn to objects.
"People get carried away and it can get a little excessive," she says. "Normally we form attachments to other people and to pets. But sometimes people can get very attached to their jewelry or to their home. So it's out there. The attachment to inanimate objects is definitely a distortion of more normal bonding."

- www.nydailynews.com/

Woman 'married' to Berlin Wall for 29 years

A woman with a bizarre fetish for inaninimate objects has revealed she has been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years.

By Richard Alleyne

27 May 2008

Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the concrete structure in 1979 after being diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer, whose fetish is said to have its roots in childhood, claimed she fell in love with the structure when she first saw it on television when she was seven.

She began collecting "his" pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests.

While she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.

"The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier."
While the rest of mankind rejoiced when the Wall, erected by the Soviets in 1961 to halt an exodus from East to West Berlin, was largely torn down in 1989, its "wife" was horrified.
She's never been back and now keeps models depicting "his" former glory.
She said: “What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband."
She is said to have shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence.
Objectum-Sexual or objectophilia is feelings of love, attraction, arousal, and commitment for a particular object.
The mere thought of a relationship with an actual human being seems ludicrous. - www.telegraph.co.uk/

4 Crazy Relationships

You may be sitting there, desperately searching for a reason as to why you’re single. But are you crazy (or lonely) enough to do what these people did?

1. Man & Pillow

Life-sized pillows can be a great comfort if you’re having a bad day or simply need something to hug — but that doesn’t mean you should marry them! Unfortunately, this one Korean guy did just that.

The pillow was Japanese, of the sort with popular anime characters printed on them. In Lee Jin Gyu’s case, it was Fate Testarossa, from the anime series Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha. He even fitted the pillow with a wedding dress and had a real ceremony with a priest.
One friend says, “He is completely obsessed with this pillow and takes it everywhere. They go out to the park or the funfair where it will go on all the rides with him. Then when he goes out to eat he takes it with him and it gets its own seat and its own meal.” [s]

2. Man & Video Game

Everyone has had at least one movie or videogame crush. This guy decided to marry a character, Nene Anegasaki, from the Nintendo DS game Loveplus. He says that in Japan people sometimes call video game characters their ‘wife’, so he decided to actually marry this virtual girl.
I just want to know what’ll happen if he accidentally deletes the game file.

3. The ‘don’t eat or drink anything while reading this’ relationship

On March 20, John Deaves and his daughter Jenny were sentenced to a three-year good behaviour bond after pleading guilty to two counts of performing an act of incest. [s] When that article was written, their daughter was 9 months old. Meaning, right now she is about 4 years old. Poor kid. Surprisingly (note sarcasm), their first child died a few days after birth from congenital heart disease.
They both reunited 30 years after Jenny’s father separated from her mother, and just two weeks after meeting, they had sex.

John Deaves, Jenny Deaves (far right), and their daughter Celeste (baby in pink).

“I was looking at him, sort of going, oh, he’s not too bad,” Jenny said. ”Like you might look at a man across the bar at a nightclub.” No, Jenny, no. It’s not like that!
The court told them they had to refrain from continuing any romantic relationship together, but hoped they would support each other and their child, Celeste.

4. The Writing on the Wall

Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the concrete structure in 1979 after being diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer, whose fetish is said to have its roots in childhood, claimed she fell in love with the structure when she first saw it on television when she was seven.

She began collecting “his” pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests.

While she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall. [s]

The woman says she finds long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. ”The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.”
When the Berlin Wall was torn down in 1989, Eija-Riitta was horrified, saying they had mutilated her husband. But not to worry. Apparently, she’s now in a relationship with a nearby garden fence.

- themacaw.wordpress.com/

Do you take these women to be your lawful wedded wives? Fury as man and two girlfriends allowed a civil union in Brazil
29 Aug 2012 18:55

After it emerged that three people were allowed to 'marry' in Rio De Janeiro, Mirror Online looks at the best weird and wonderful weddings

A registrar in Brazil has sparked outrage by allowing three people in a polygamous relationship to ‘marry’.
Public Notary Claudia do Nascimento Domingues argued that the man and two women should be entitled to family rights.
The trio, from Rio De Janeiro, have lived together as a ‘married couple’ for three years and share bills and a bank account, according to the BBC.
Ms Domingues allowed the three to be joined in a civil union three months ago and added that there is nothing in law to prevent such a union.
She was quoted as saying: “We are only recognising what has always existed. We are not inventing anything.
"For better or worse, it doesn't matter, but what we considered a family before isn't necessarily what we would consider a family today."
The man and women decided to enter into a civil union to protect their rights in case of separation or death of a partner, according to Nathaniel Santos Batista, a jurist who held draft the arrangement.
He told Globo TV that document was not the same as a marriage.
But the civil union has been branded “absurd and totally illegal” by lawyer Regina Beatriz Tavares de Silva.
She told the BBC it was “something completely unacceptable which goes against Brazilian values and morals.”
Ms da Silva, who is president of the Commission for the Rights of the Family within the Institute of Lawyers, added that the union will not be allowed to remain in place.
But if she thinks a marriage between a man and two women is bizarre, she should take a look at these weird and wonderful weddings…

Married to a... DOG

Selvakumar, Tamil Nadu in India - married a dog

Getty

An Indian farmer married his dog in a bid to overcome a 'curse' caused by him having stoned two mating dogs to death in his rice field.
The 34-year-old, identified as Selvakumar, felt his bad luck started 15 years ago after killing the dogs and hanging their carcasses from a tree.
The farmer, from Sivaganga district in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, said his hearing and speech were impaired and he was unable to walk.
Doctors were clueless, but an astrologer finally told him he was cursed by the spirits of the dogs he had killed. He could undo the curse only if he married a dog and live with it, the soothsayer said.
After a long search for a 'suitable bride', Selvakumar managed to get a four-year-old mongrel bitch from a friend and had a fully-fledged Hindu wedding in front of villagers and elders.
The canine bride, named Selvi, was adorned in a sari and flowers and brought to the temple by village women. A Hindu priest conducted the ceremony.
However, Selvi the dog attempted to make a run for it - apparently due to the large crowds - but was eventually tracked down and returned to her new 'husband'.

Married to... HIMSELF

Liu Ye, China - married himself (cardboard cut out)

YouTube

Liu Ye admits he is "a little narcissistic", which is evident by the fact that he married himself.
On New Year's Day in 2007, the 44-year-old tied the know with a cardboard cut out of himself wearing a red dress.
Speaking after the nuptials, he explained: "There are many reasons for marrying myself, but mainly to express my dissatisfaction with reality."

Married to a... ROLLERCOASTER

Amy Wolfe, Pennsylvania - married a rollercoaster at Knoebels Amusement Park

Barcroft Media

They say love is a rollercoaster but for one Pennsylvanian woman that is literally the case.
Amy Wolfe fell in love with a magic carpet themed ride called '1001 Nachts' and rides it up to 300 times a year.
The 36-year-old suffers from a condition known as objectum sexuality, which causes her to be attracted to inanimate objects.
But the relationship is a long-distance affair, as she lives 80 miles away from the Knoebels Amusement Park ride.

Married to... THE BERLIN WALL

Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, Sweden - married the Berlin Wall

Barcroft Media

Fellow objectum sexuality sufferer Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer fell in love with the Berlin Wall when she saw it on television aged 7.
She wed the concrete structure in 1979 and changed her surname, which means Berlin Wall in German.
Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.
"The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier."

Married to... A COMPUTER GAME

Sal 9000, Tokyo - married video game character Nene Anegasaki

Youtube

A computer game geek, known only by his gamer name of Sal 9000, married the character Nene Anegasaki from the Nintendo DS virtual dating video game Love Plus.
The wedding was streamed live on the internet and the 27-year-old wore a white tux and brought his portable video game console featuring Nene.
The couple exchanged vows and Sal even kissed the bride in front of an online audience of thousands.

- www.mirror.co.uk/

The 15 Hottest Objectum-Sexual Relationships

In honor of Amy Smith’s marriage to an amusement park ride, here are 15 of the hottest human/object relationships ever. Congrats Amy!

Matt Stopera

1. A VW Beetle
Edward Smith is in love with his VW Beetle named Vanilla. Fidelity appears to be a gray area though, because he has no problem getting down with other cars, including a vehicle belonging to the film crew. via .
2. The Berlin Wall
Although Eija remains a virgin with humans, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall. Eija, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, said: “I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. “The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier. While the rest of mankind rejoiced when the Wall was largely torn down in 1989, poor Eija was devastated. She’s never been back and now keeps models depicting “his” former glory.
3. A Bow
Before she fell in love with the Eiffel Tower, Erika Eiffel was in love with her bow named Lance. She was initially attracted to his looks. She explains their relationship as “hot and heavy.” With the help of her bow Erika won a medal in the Olympics, but soon after she fell out of love. Her archery skills have never been the same since.
4. The Twin Towers
On Sept. 11, 2001, Berlin resident Sandy K.’s beloved was publicly executed on the streets of New York. Here she is clenching models of the two. Objectum-Sexuals typically collect models of their lovers. via
5. Bridges
Sisters Erika and Eija-Riitta hold up models of previous flames.
6. A Fence
According to the official Objectum-Sexual website, “The Red Fence is cherished by Eija-Riitta as an object she holds dear to her heart. As a tribute to her courage and devotion, Röda Staketet is to the objectùm-sexual community… our symbol.”
7. A Japanese Anime Character
Taichi Takashita is in love with a cartoon. He says, “I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world.” Here is is clenching his cartoon lover.
8. An Amusement Park Ride
“I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we’ll be together forever.” Amy Wolfe said. Amy first fell for the ride when she was 13: “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally “I wasn’t freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ to have feelings for a fairground ride.” Now her feelings are public. She’s marrying the ride. via . Ten years later, she decided to go back to Knoebels Amusement Park to declare her love. She now sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries its spare nuts and bolts around to feel closer to it.
9. Real Dolls

This is Billy and his doll Chee Chan. When she first came in his life it was sex sex sex sex sex. Now it’s tapered off into words. According to Billy, they’re always there for each other.
10. The Eiffel Tower
The most famous object/human relationship. “Her structure is just amazing. You know, she’s got subtle, subtle curves, you know.” The two were married in a commitment ceremony in 2008.
11. A Steam Locomotive
41-year-old Joachim A. recognized and accepted his inclination when he was just 12 years old. It was then that he fell head over heels “into an emotionally and physically very complex and deep relationship, which lasted for years.” His partner back then was a Hammond organ — he has now been in a steady relationship with a steam locomotive for several years. Since he is particularly aroused by the inner workings of technical objects, repair jobs have often led to infidelity in the past. “A love affair could very well begin with a broken radiator,” the now monogamous lover says, remembering how his earlier affairs began. via .
12. A Helicoptor
Edward Smith’s most intense sexual experience was “making love” to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf. In 1991 she (the helicopter) crash landed killing all-aboard ending this relationship.
13. A Guillotine
Eija-Riitta of Sweden was once in love with a guillotine. This is a picture of her trying out the goods.
14. Another Fence
Here’s a picture Ms. Eiffel demonstrating how she does it with a fence. This was a fling.

- www.buzzfeed.com/

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Objectùm-sexuality / Objektophile - Married to a Doll, the Eiffel Tower or the Berlin Wall...

Married to the Eiffel Tower

People Who Love Objects Part I

People Who Love Objects, Part II

People Who Love Objects, Part III

Meet 'The Woman Who Married the Eiffel Tower': Erika La Tour Eiffel, an 'objectum sexual'

By Rosemary Black /

Woman 'married' to Berlin Wall for 29 years

A woman with a bizarre fetish for inaninimate objects has revealed she has been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years.

1. Man & Pillow

2. Man & Video Game

3. The ‘don’t eat or drink anything while reading this’ relationship

4. The Writing on the Wall

The 15 Hottest Objectum-Sexual Relationships

1. A VW Beetle

2. The Berlin Wall

3. A Bow

4. The Twin Towers

5. Bridges

6. A Fence

7. A Japanese Anime Character

8. An Amusement Park Ride

9. Real Dolls

10. The Eiffel Tower

11. A Steam Locomotive

12. A Helicoptor

13. A Guillotine

14. Another Fence

1 komentar: